10 tips to survive toddlerhood!

Having a toddler in the house is no easy feat! They're tiny, maddening, fascinating, maddening, heart-bursting, confusing, life enhancing, MADDENING little creatures. Did I say they're maddening? Haha!

As much as we uber adore our little balls of wild energy, often we find ourselves exhausted, confused, and downright frazzled just trying to make it through the day with these tiny critters (even if there's only one!).

Kiddos at this age (we'll say 1-3yrs) are learning and changing and growing so quickly! Their amazing little brains are just eating life up and we haven't found the proof yet, but we're pretty sure they are syphoning our energy like little gasoline theives.

I've got a tot of my own in the house right now, it's aaaall coming back to me, so I thought I'd share some helpful tips I wish I had the first go round.

1) Take the time to understand what is normal for these ages. And then accept it. The "shoulds" society crams down your throat? They don't matter. Not one bit. What matters is your sanity and your unique relationship with your child.

2) Expect the unexpected. Even after learning about and understanding normal developement and behaviours... Well I'll just tell you, you can never truly be 100% prepared for everything life with a toddler will throw at you. So your best bet is to learn to roll with the punches and keep a sense of humor. Laughter really is the best medicine!

3) Think of them as tiny people, with the same wants and needs as anyone else... but always, ALWAYS remember they are new to this thing we call life and they are learning. It's our job to lovingly guide and teach them.

4) DO NOT expect them to be able to reason like an adult. Ever. This was (and still is at times) a mistake I made with my firstborn. I had a real bad habit of expecting her to use logic and reasoning in her decision making. Yeah, toddlers don't do that. They literally CAN'T. At least not in the way we expect them to. When you realize they really, honestly CAN'T - it's easier to accept. And acceptance is KEY to toddlerhood survival.

5) DO NOT expect them to behave better than adults. This is a problem I see in almost every household in America, not just with toddlers, but children in general. And most people don't even realize they're doing it. Sometimes we have bad days. Sometimes we whine. Sometimes we tantrum. Sometimes we have a hard time controlling our emotions/behaviour. Ect, ect. If we, as full grown adults, don't always handle perfectly... how can we expect them to? Give a little grace! Expect less, love more. 

6) Don't try to control them. Give them as much freedom and choice as possible, while having firm boundaries as a buffer to guide them in the right direction. Trust me, I know that's WAY easier said than done... but as hard as it sounds? It actually removes a whole lot of stressors. A lot of those battles you may be fighting? They don't need to be fought. A good rule of thumb : Is it going to matter tomorrow? In a week? In a year? If not, then it doesn't matter *at all*. 

7) Skip the potty training. Not even joking. What I mean by this is drop the mainstream idea of potty training. Throw it right of of your head. No (developmentally normal) child is going to college still sh*tting their pants. I promise. They show zero interest in going on the toilet til they're 3? Don't sweat it. This is an example of one of those "battles" that aren't worth fighting. I learned this the hard way with my firstborn... and never again will I fight, bribe, punish, frantically rush, and fret about when my children will start to go on the potty like a big kid. I favor instead an easy going approach called "potty learning" (I think that's the term.) Basically, when they show interest - indulge them. When they show 0 interest? Leave them be. Just provide the tools & the example & let them lead the way. P.S. Having cloth diapers helps me with not worrying about the financial aspect! 😉😉😉

8) This may be more of a personal thing... But I encourage you to keep breastfeeding. This might seem like an odd thing to say in a post about how to survive toddlerhood, but as a breastfeeding mama I can tell you it's not. The breast is such a useful, versitile tool in your Mothering Toolbox! Random tantrum? Boob. Got hurt? Boob. Scared? Boob. Overall fussiness? Boob. Overstimulated? Boob. Tired? Boob. I think you see where I'm going with this. Not only is Breastmilk super important for their health (yes even still as a toddler) but the connection that comes with Mothering at the Breast is insurmountable. This is not meant to shame formula feeding mothers one bit, but I have been on both ends of the spectrum (my firstborn was FF), and I can tell you that Mothering at the Breast makes toddlerhood (and motherhood in general) a whole lot easier to bear. Maybe that sounds counterintuitive? Maybe that's a personal thing? All I can say is that for me having this amazing tool in my toolbox has been a lifesaver.

(To learn more about Extended/Natural Term Breastfeeding check out this link http://themoderndaythinkingmom.blogspot.com/2016/07/what-is-natural-term-breastfeeding.html?m=1 )

9) Take care of yourself! I have recently learned how to do this, and my god is it SO FREEING! You've got a tiny little human being (maybe even more than one!) who has a big need for his/her bucket to be filled daily with love and attention. And you can't fill that bucket if your own is empty. Motherhood is HARD! So don't let your own bucket become bone dry in your quest to be a good mama. If there's something you love doing? Don't give it up! Or if you do, don't be so hesitant to find something else you love. Take that shower alone (even if it's only once a week). Don't be afraid to lock the door when you poop. Use the TV or tablet as a babysitter sometimes and don't feel so guilty about it! Don't be shy to ask for help and don't hesitate to take it where you can get it. It really is OK to be a person on top of being a mother and it's even more OK to accept help. Make friends. Socialize. DO STUFF. You are not a selfish or bad mom for being you too.

10) I've kinda said this throughout, but just follow the biological norms! It really is OK for you to let them sleep in your bed until they are ready to move out. It's OK for you to nurse them into toddlerhood. It's normal for them to want to be held. Its OK if theyre not the first in your friend circle to be potty trained. Its OK if they don't talk much until they're 3. It's normal for them to want to be close to you. All of this is totally normal and totally OK. You will never look back and regret reading them one last story or holding them just one more time. Because before you know it... it's over. They grow up way too fast. Someday those handprints won't be on your window and you won't have piles and piles of laundry to avoid putting away. Your house won't always be a mess and they won't always need you THIS much. So let go of your preconceived notions of what motherhood is supposed to look like and just enjoy it while it lasts. 

I could probably say a million more things, but honestly I've been at this on and off all day dealing with my own little beasties. ♡ I hope the lessons I have learned can help at least one mama out there. Good luck ladies!