When You're NOT the Mom You Thought You'd Be

I am not the mom I thought I would be.

In some ways, that really sucks. I never knew just how HARD this whole parenting thing is. People tell you... but no one can truly prepare you for how heavy, heartbreaking, annoying, and downright difficult raising tiny humans really is.

I yell too much, I'm downright mean sometimes, I don't react right, I don't keep my house clean and organized, I am NOT crafty in the slightest, I often toss pizza or chicken nuggets their way because I am an awful cook or just feel too lazy to put the effort into a 5 course nutritionally balanced meal. I remember the dreams and hopes I had for myself as a mother but it just didn't happen that way.

I do have to be a little proud of myself too though - for this exact reason. Because I am not the mom I thought I'd be. I am so much more than that.

I am the mom who never stops trying to do and be better no matter how hard it is to fight my "demons" day in and day out.

I am the mom who struggles but never gives up.

I am the mom who spends her free time more often than not researching and educating herself so she can do the best she can to raise happy, healthy human beings.

I am the mom who works on herself constantly for the sake of her children.

I am the mom who tries to do what's right even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard.

And I am the mom who has learned to forgive herself and give herself a little grace when she f*cks up. Which is often.

Too often we mothers get down on ourselves and only see the negative. Our mistakes, our faults, our shortcomings... While it's good to honestly self reflect and hold ourselves accountable, we need to open our eyes and see it ALL clearly. We need to give ourselves credit where credit is due.

Focussing only on the bad does nothing but make you feel like crap. It deflates you and holds you back. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging where you actually kinda rock. Or at least where you are doing the best you can and that's enough.

Only with an honest and clear view can you truly grow and become the best version of yourself.

So today, instead of hating on yourself, take some time to reflect on what you've done right. It may be hard to pin these things at first, but trust me, there is always something. And allow yourself to feel proud! Pat yourself on the back for once. Let yourself feel those good feelings and take the first step toward loving yourself unconditionally too. ❤