Nor would I ever want to be...
This idea that being cruel makes you a good mother is asinine.
Parents posting on social media to share their "creative" methods of torturing good behaviour out of their children, (or rather, making them pay for their mistakes) has become a trend. Well, we think it has. Parents have done this for as long as I can remember, they just have social media at their fingertips now. Either way, its the popular thing to do these days.
Punishment is what we call it. Hell, not even that, most people are happy to misuse the word discipline to excuse their behaviour.
I've seen everything from a mom throwing her kids ice cream away for forgetting to say thank you (with no reminder) to a dad mimicking jail by making his THREE year old child wear an orange shirt, eat different food from the rest of the family, and leaving her room bare with nothing but a mattress on the floor, ect. 😐
All the while these posts go "viral" and thousands of parents give the internet version of a standing ovation to the OP.
No one thinks about the children involved because in our society... children don't matter. Its A-OK to bully and mistreat children because, well, we can use the excuse that we were trying to teach them something.
No one ever stops to wonder how the child got to the point where they felt the need to act out so hard.
Or why they wouldn't be used to saying thank you. OR maybe why they wouldn't have every social nuisance down pat at their age. OR why their mother is being so cold and petty. Or why a 3yr old is already so desensitized to being hit...
Nope. We are just worried about supporting the parent. And anyone who speaks up for the children? Well... you're just a parent hater. A mommy war perpetuator. A sanctimommy. Judgy-Judgerton. Rude. Not socially acceptable so sit down and shut up.
If you don't politely clap for every decision a parent makes, right or wrong - you're a bad person and must be shut down immediately. Typical bully behaviour/mindset, of course. Ironic really.
Well, seen as the bad guy or not, I'm NOT clapping for these parents. Nor am I keeping quiet about it for fear of offending.
Am I here to tell you what a shit parent you are? No. I don't know you, and I like to err on the side of assuming all parents love their children like I love mine.
But I sure as hell will point out that the behaviour displayed in these oh so popular posts is SHIT. And the mindset that comes along with them.
This idea that children need (& deserve) to be forced, coerced, manipulated, shamed, and punished to learn how to behave "acceptably" is nonsense. Completely and utterly. The idea that children are our property to do as we please with simply because we created them is bullshit.
With a mindset like that, where do we draw the line? Most people will say, "When it harms the child."
Well who the hell decided that harm is only physical? Or that some harm is OK while others are not? Who decided its acceptable to be controlling and abusive toward children as long as you don't "go too far." Who decides what is "too far"?
Why is the question, "How much harm can I legally inflict on my child to exact retribution from them for making a mistake?" When it should be, "How can I give my children the tools they need to make good decisions in life?"
This is all ass backwards if you ask me, and I refuse to take part. I refuse to play the "I am the meanest mom" game. Do I make mistakes? You betcha! But I sure as hell am not proud of them. And I sure as hell won't be publicly tormenting my child as society cheers me on.
Because #IAmNOTtheMeanestMom.
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