It's not the first time this has happened, nor is it likely to be the last. While it can be inconvenient, we have raised up our daughter to understand Bodily Autonomy.
So instead of freaking out, I just shrugged it off as, "It's not my hair."
Well she decided she wanted mommy to fix it.... Mind you I have very little skill in this area so I just do my best and hope for the best.
After cutting it short (bc of the length of the cuts) but before showering & letting it dry properly, she freaked out. See, we moved & she's gotten involved with some "mean girl" types. She was afraid (rightly so as I saw with my own eyes & heart...) that these girls would make fun of her for "looking like a boy".
((Random note : I DID show her what I intended & she agreed at the time.))
We've been struggling with her self esteem for a while now but especially lately with this whole "mean girl" situation. So I looked at my crying, scared-to-be-bullied little girl and made a decision.
I took one last look at my long pretty hair that I've worked so hard to grow out... and then I handed her the scissors.
I know it sounds silly... but that was SO hard for me to do & what I was left with was... well... a 6yr old cut my hair...
But what I gave & gained was more than worth it. It may seem insane but there was a method to my madness and, well, love will drive you to do some pretty strange things.
There was nothing better in the world in that moment than seeing that frown turned upside down & hearing, "Look Mommy, you have short hair like me!"
Since that day I've gotten my share of funny looks & jokes & even downright shitty comments about my haircut. Out of everything I've ever done, I am having a hard time forcing myself to OWN this. This is the shortest my hair has ever been & I haven't seen my natural color in quite a few years. It's brought up a lot of feelings & even set off my sensory issues.
But that's OK.
I didn't cut my hair so I'd be "pretty" or "badass". I didn't cut it for compliments or to feel good about myself. And I'm not running to a professional to "fix" it either.
I also didn't do it just to make my child stop crying & being sad.
I made this sacrifice (& allowed my daughter a fun experience in the process) to teach my daughter a very important lesson.
I did it to teach her that looks don't matter as much as we think they do.
I did it to teach her that she is beautiful no matter what other's may say.
I did it to teach my daughter how to love herself the way she is.
I did it to show my little girl that she isn't alone.
I did it to combat bullying.
I did it to boost her confidence in herself.
I did it to show her by example how to fight against her inner doubt & society's hate and come out loving & respecting herself despite it all.
I have been learning to my great dismay that society WILL reach its ugly claws into my household no matter what I do. I can preach and preach and preach against the wrong messages she comes across... but it won't always be enough. As any mother would, my heart hurts to see its negative effects on my baby & I wish I could shield her from the ugliness of the world. But I can't.
I realized that I have to lead by example if I want the world to change and show my children how to handle life.
A little girl recently said to me, "I see you guys cut your hair." I replied matter of factly, "Yes. We did."
This 7yr old girl comes back with, "And you like it!?"
............ 7. Years. Old. .............
My response was, "Well, I like me and hair grows back. So yes, by default, I like my hair."
While this situation was disheartening... I am glad my girl got to witness it. She saw her mother faced with societal appearance shaming & bullying - and she saw her mother respond with positivity and self love.
And I can truly hope that they all will have learned an important, life-long lesson. I can hope that I may have influenced these children positively, and that someday they will remember this moment and choose love.
This entire situation is important. This lesson could save someone from killing themselves. This could save a girl from being abused. This could prevent a lifetime of self hate.
So... While many of you are sitting back thinking, "She's crazy", "*I* wouldn't do that", "Wow she looks like shit", "Way to entitle your kid", ect...
Know this : I would rather my daughter have the opportunity to learn this very, very important life lesson... Than have your approval on my hair or my parenting methods. Because LOVE. ✌
(Will update with more photos when my phone's high speed kicks in.)
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